As most of you already know, twerking is taking over the summer. But as its popularity grows, its NOLA bar party roots are being watered down by white girls in onesies who have the confused notion that any kind of booty shaking is twerking. Well, Big Freedia, “the queen diva, the dick eatah” is here to set the record straight in a video she made for Perez Hilton.
Did you catch all of that?
Thigh Clapping: This is when you shake your stuff from side to side. Make sure those thighs and ass cheeks touch and clap. It’s fast. It’s an ab workout. And you need some meat on your bones, so start eating like they do down South.
Twerk: Spread your legs, jut out your booty and start to bounce that up and down. (Bounce music? Bouncing booty? Coincidence?) The important thing here is, notice the curve on the dancers backs, you’re body should make a ~ shape. Freedia herself likes to do the bouncing motion AND oscillate, that’s why she’s the mistress. It’s not easy, even though these ladies make it look so.
Exercise: Here you are standing up straight holding your arms against your chest and shaking your body. Let me be clear when we say body in this context: it’s top and bottom only, from side to side rapidly. It’s called exercise because it preps those glutes for the coming workouts. If your tired from twerking and clapping, take a breather by standing up and jiggling.
Body Rock: This is a combo move. You stay shaking like you were exercising but sway with the beat. The booty and the swaying are moving in two different time signatures. The booty should be going at roughly double the speed of the rocking body. Note that the arms need to be out and moving, that’s part of it, arms up, arms out – feel free to improvise.
The Shoulder Hustle: For those who lack a booty, or the talent to make it clap, The Shoulder Hustle gives a chance to shake your stuff without the use of the downstairs. It is just what it sounds like: churn and waggle those shoulders.
The Peter Pan: The move looks like something Whodini would do back in the day amplified ten fold. Arms and legs go in and out, the legs undulating, knees in and out with the feet rocking back and forth on the heel and toe. Your arms, of course, should be mimicking these gestures. The Peter Pan will keep you fit, and even though Freedia says it’s for the boys, I don’t see any gender specific moves in this whole video.
Mark this is a master class because these moves are not for beginners. And like Freedia says: “Twerk some if you’re real with it, we’ve been doing it.” So, Miley Cyrus take note.